At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
