I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
