her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
