I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
