it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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