I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
