The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
