dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
