You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
