so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
