Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
