I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
