Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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