what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
