You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We named our party play list daddy issues
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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