with your own penis?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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