tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
