i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
