Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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