It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
