He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
