and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
