You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
