Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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