i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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