In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
