Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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