so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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