"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
