We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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