i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
