Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
