I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
