i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
