No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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