i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
