Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
