Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
