i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize