the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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