maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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