We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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