# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
