Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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