i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
