Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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