I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
3 2 1 whiskey
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
