i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
