well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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