have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
