ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Randomize
