This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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