She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
