Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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