So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
