On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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