You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
