Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
