i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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