I love black thongs
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
