It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
