my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he fucked my hip out of place.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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