Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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