Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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