i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
