More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
