It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
